Worthy or unworthy? You decide.

"Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go" -Mooji

Who do we allow to define if we are deemed worthy or unworthy?

I recently felt dejected by multiple thoughts. My past has had moments of darkness and I have risen above them, fighting and clawing and scratching my way to avoid sinking into the dark abyss of a  life that is not fulfilling.

I got out. It was a battle. It is sometimes a daily struggle...but I got out.

I went from having no idea what I wanted for my future to working my way up in my career. I went from being deeply involved in an eating disorder to developing a healthy mind, body, and spirit. I went from questioning God to praising Him and thanking Him for those trials to build me into a better person. I went from entering into relationships because I was lonely to loving myself enough to understand what love really means.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

Yet, do those around me who knew me in the darkness notice? Or will they forever see me as stuck in that dark moment? Will I forever be someone they are not proud of, someone who will never see their photo or achievements being shared? If I continue to be more and more successful, will they be proud? Or will they constantly have a half-hearted smile and roll their eyes when I walk away? Will I never be enough for those people who saw me in my darkness? The fact that I have come to accept is that I may never get that praise that I always so desperately wanted from the people I admired.

Yet, the comfort I have found in this is something so, so simple. The fact is....I will survive if they never see me for who I truly am. I will survive, and better yet, I will thrive. However, I will not do it to please them. I will not do it to fulfill a void of being unloved. I now strive for success because I love myself. I strive for success because I want a life that is full of happiness and light and inner peace and strength. By letting go of the desire to please people who will never be pleased, we allow others who love us as out true selves to enter into our world and we allow them to accept us unconditionally. We also allow for self-acceptance.

When we do not follow the path of others, we may have people look down on us. We may have people question us. The fact is this: everyone needs to life their life as they are able to. Everyone needs to be able to reach their moment of clarity at different times. Some people can reach their goals quickly, others may have to search until they find what they are looking for. No judgement is necessary for either group.

Those people that judge us? Perhaps their path was different than ours. Perhaps that's why they don't understand ours....and that is okay. When we accept that they may never accept us, we also must choose to accept them. We must choose to release the anger and the hurt that we felt and understand that they are only human, too. We felt sadness and they felt confusion for our choices. All of our feelings are different, but we all have feelings. Feeling are fleeting. We cannot let them control us. We cannot worry about who we are pleasing, or about trying to be "perfect". Why? This is our ego speaking. This is our ego saying, "Look at me! Look at how far I have come! Acknowledge me! Praise me! Love me!". What if we turned our ego off? What if we said, "I accept that you may never accept me. I accept myself. I love myself. I accept you and I love you. I will continue to thrive because I choose to because it makes me happy". Doesn't that sound so much more peaceful?

What matters is the inner peace with ourselves and the peace with others. Accept that those who love you will love you. Those who will not, will not. Accept these feelings for being as simple as they are. Life is complex. Feeling are complex....but we must not let them rule us.

"Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go" -Mooji