Beautiful women of the world….

Beautiful women of the world….

I urge you to think before using your looks to get what you want. I know it is tempting. I know it may seem easy…but hear me out.

I urge you to think before using your glistening eyes to seduce and convince. Instead, use your eyes to lovingly seek to understand others. Use your eyes to comfort those in pain.

I urge you not to use your body as a deadly weapon to make the necks of men snap in your direction. Instead, make your body strong. Nourish it from the inside out. Keep your body sacred. Love your body enough to understand when a man really loves it and you or when he simply lusts after you.

Rather than using your feet to make your hips sway in that dress to catch the attention of the men at the bar, use them to take you far in life. Go and go and go until you reach your destination of exactly where you want to be. When you get there, embrace where you land. Walk barefoot and feel the world beneath your feet and know that you have the power to make your dreams a reality.

Instead of using your luscious lips to lick and bite and leave men entranced, use your lips to ooze kindness like honey into the hearts and ears of those around you. Never let someone leave your presence without hearing a kind word.

Rather than keeping your breasts on display, focus on what’s underneath them-your heart. Use it to guide you. Consult your brain, too. Get them to agree (most of the time) and you’re golden.

My point is to use your inner beauty to glow from the inside. I promise you…you will look and feel even more beautiful than you imagined. 

Are you a "good" person?

What does it mean to be a “good person”?

This has been a thought that has plagued me for years. I have always done my best to be a “good person”. To do the “right thing”, but was always confused on whether or not being a “good person” meant I was doing the “right thing” for my own life.

I recently overheard one woman telling another that her husband stood by her while she was battling alcoholism. She said, “That’s what good guys do”. What if the wife would have never overcame that? Would it make her husband a “bad guy” for wanting more out of life than tending to an alcoholic?

I also think about women with traditional values who are abused. Many of them stay in abusive and chaotic marriages for years. They die inside because they are trying to be a “good wife” and do the “right thing” by standing by the man who beats them because they said “til death do us part”…..

I can’t help but wonder if the death of the spark and fire and soul of the abused woman is enough reason for them to part.

If a woman is pressured to stay in an abusive marriage by her family because they believe it is the “right choice”….this does not make it the “right choice” for the woman.

I have come to the conclusion that doing the “right thing” is not just a “one size fits all” type of thing. What one person can endure, another person may not be able to handle. I strive to do what’s right for me. For example, I am the type of person who has to say what I feel, especially if I feel like I am being taken advantage. Some people think the “right thing” is to stay quiet. Unfortunately for me, I am unable to do that. I have accepted this and teach and train myself to use this trait in the right “way” according to my life. I don’t just say everything on my mind, especially if it would be hurtful. However, if I need to defend myself or others, I will do so. If I need to share my opinion, I will do so. I strive to do what’s right for ME so I can look in the mirror and feel like I am being the best version of me that I can be. Some others may not agree with my version of “right”. Some others may not agree with your version of “right”. I urge you to think about your own values and needs and wants and choose the right decision for you.

I want you all to be able to look in the mirror every day loving and understanding yourself enough to make the best choice for you. 

Choose to have a loving heart....despite the ugliness of the world.

I'm sorry I have been absent for so long, friends. I have had a lot going on personally, part of which involved moving to another state! So, things have been quite busy, as things sometimes are...but I'm back.

I have been having many thoughts streaming in and out of my conscious mind throughout these past several weeks. Today, I thought about admiration. I thought about devotion. More specifically, I thought about what these words mean and how they feel when we associate them with a person.

I came to the conclusion that feeling those things may, quite possibly, lead us to disappointment. 

My first example will be from someone that you have all heard a lot about in the past few years if you listen to the radio at all. Yes, I am going to talk about Beyonce. Hear me out.

Young women everywhere sang along in satisfaction when she belted out lyrics about a guy who didn't treat us right being totally "replaceable". We embraced our curves singing along to "Bootylicious". We applauded her for having a beautifully "real" and "curvy" body (again, "real" and "curvy" are all subject to opinion). We felt empowered to be single when we shook our hand and danced to "Single Ladies" when we were out dancing with our friends. She became huge. She became a role-model.

And then.....

People disagreed with her using her married name for her tour. There were disapproving people scowling at her dancing and her dress code. She is accused often of photoshopping her pictures.

Suddenly, people are in a frenzy. They are questioning her and saying things like: "How could she do that?!", and "What kind of role model is she after all?!"

Okay, okay....so that's Beyonce. Most of us probably haven't met her, right? However, what happens when we use this kind of thinking with people in our real lives?

I have someone in my life who I adored greatly. He was always there for me. He made me feel like I wasn't alone, like I had some comfort in my life. In my eyes, he could do no wrong. I would defend him. I would take his side. I felt like he was the hardest working person I ever knew and I felt like I would grow old with him being as close to me for the rest of my life and being my role model. I felt like he would meet everyone I loved. I felt so lucky for having someone like that who I could trust, depend on, and who loved me. We can't choose family, so I felt blessed to have been given someone freely who was that fantastic.

Then, one day...things changed. One day, this person's life changed. He had different priorities, and I was no longer one of them. We would have months where we wouldn't speak to each other. When I saw him, I felt like a stranger in the life of someone I once knew so well.

So, what did I do? Sure, I cried. Sure, I mourned the loss of someone in my life....but then, I realized that this person was always a human being, just like I am. Just like we all are. I realized that this person was capable of hurting me, of making mistakes, and that didn't make him a bad person. It made him human. I accepted that our relationship would never be the same, and I looked back fondly on the memories of what once were. I could have stayed angry forever. I could have always talked badly about him and lamented to others about how much he changed and how I don't know what came over him....but I don't want that negativity in my life. It wouldn't make me feel any better, actually. Not at all.

I acknowledged the awkwardness and the change. I cherished the last hug we had, even if it was only me that cherished it (however, one can never know what is in the heart of another), because I realized how short life is and how quickly things can change. How nothing lasts forever, and how it's our choice to love or be bitter....

 I chose to love instead. 

I always choose to love instead, even if it isn't reciprocated because my heart is the only heart that is in my control. I want my heart to love. Just remember that a "loving heart" is not a "push-over heart". A "loving heart" is not a "needy heart". A real "loving heart" simply chooses to be at peace with the reality of what is. This kind of heart is strong because it understands it will be let down and it understands people are not perfect and life isn't perfect, yet, despite that....this kind of heart still chooses to take the higher road. To find peace and joy in life, even when it is hard to do so....

Darlings, life goes on. Life can be cruel and cold, but we have to choose to stay warm and seek the beauty in everything. How we view these heartaches and losses in life is entirely up to us. Choose to embrace the reality for something that we can learn from instead of something that will break us. Choose not to blame people who hurt us and instead just accept them as being human and capable of such things. Choose to love instead of being angry. When we use love to push the sadness out, it flows out far more smoothly than if we try to push sadness away with anger.

When I chose to have a loving heart, I learned to separate myself from that place of adoration and moved myself into a place of reality.

So, my beauties, my point is this: choose to have a loving heart that understands that people are only human. Love people, but avoid placing them on pedestals because they are only human...just like you. Just like me. Forgive them. Forgive yourself.

....and take care of your loving hearts.