FREE YOUR MIND.

How do we use the power of association to guide us through life?

Words are very powerful and can change our mindset completely. When you were a child, did you hear your loved ones calling themselves "fat"? Did you hear others making fun of someone for being "overweight"? Do you think you would associate certain sizes or numbers on the scale with "fat" had you not heard those things as a child? Did you hear a woman who had multiple sexual partners being called a "slut"?

Imagine growing up in a world where people referred to others who looked differently as "beautiful". Imagine your mother, your sister, your aunt, or your childhood best friend loving themselves exactly as they were, and letting that feeling radiate through them so the heat of their self-love made you feel self-love, too. Imagine people using their love to guide and help others instead of judging them for their choices.

I used to label myself, my friends. I used to think that my "bad" choices made me "damaged". I listened to what the views of others were. I felt guilty because of the associations that I made and that other people made about my EXPERIENCES (I choose not to say "mistakes"-we need to understand we are human and will have many "experiences" that will guide us). When I realized that it was time to forgive myself and realize that my choices did NOT define me-I felt a freedom that I had not felt in years. I did not have to label myself as a "damaged" person because of the associations I had in my mind with my choices. I had the freedom to be whoever I wanted to be. I had the freedom to learn from my experiences, and just be ME. No labels. No associations. Just me.

Let's change our associations. Let's replace those automatic negative thought processes with positive ones. Rather than pulling the skin on your gorgeous wide hips, or shapely stomach, or strong arms and saying it is "fat", say at least ONE POSITIVE quality about that body part. Instead of saying your wild hair is frizzy and awful, think of how beautiful and free and untamed it looks! Feel that freedom throughout your day!

Change your thoughts. Change your thought process. Good things will follow. We want our future children to have a positive body image of themselves and others. We want our loved ones to realize that we are only human. Our experiences (positive or negative) do not have to define the rest of our lives. You are YOU. That is all you have to be. You are not damaged. You are not broken. You are free to be the beautiful you that you are HERE on this earth to be.

Make the change!

To the women of the world: I have been in your shoes.

I have been on dates that now go down in history as "Did-that-really-happen?" moments.

I have had relationships end in ways that I never could have even created in my wildest imagination.

I have had friends hurt me.

I have had terrible jobs.

I have ever overdrafted my bank account. Yes, even that.

I have been hurt. I have been betrayed. I have lost faith.....

....but I got that faith back.

Would you like to know how? I don't have any gimmicks for you. I also can't tell you that the answers all come immediately. I still have "a-HA!" moments on a weekly basis from situations that occurred months or years ago in my life.

However, I will tell you this: things DO always work out. I know, I know. It sounds so cliche, right? Well, there is a little trick: you need to own up to your actions. I used to be passive aggressive and non-confrontational with people who wronged me. I used to want to change myself so much that I HATED myself rather than LOVING myself. I would make excuses for others AND for myself.

It was time to stop that.

It was time to realize that if I kept dating the same type of guy and those relationships kept failing, PERHAPS it was time to understand MYSELF and figure out why I kept going down that path. If I had conflict with friends, I needed to look at what I did  to determine if it was up to me to make amends. If I wasn't paying off my debt, but making money to do so--it was up to ME to make the changes to start fixing that.

Now, this might be heavy for you. You are probably thinking, "Wow, Nicole. So you are telling me to find all of the things I am DOING WRONG and fix them....sounds painful". It may sound painful, but here is the beauty of it: when we change our lives for the better, we also must FORGIVE OURSELVES. We will never be perfect. Our experiences (I won't say "mistakes", because they are purely experiences!) made us who we are. Yet, we need to continue GROWING and LEARNING from those experiences rather than closing our eyes, mind, and heart to the possibilities that are right in front of us. When we forgive ourselves, and realize that those "experiences" were purely that: experiences to prepare us for something GREATER, we become peaceful. Things start falling into place.

Things change for the better and continue to flourish.

Look in your mirror. Think about your life and what you want to change. Then smile, tell yourself "I love you", and make the changes. You can do it. You are meant for greater things.