I refuse to accept feeling "less than" anything....do you?

Has anyone ever told you that you look "too skinny"? What about that you look like "you gained weight"? Even worse, has anyone ever told you that you "need to EAT SOMETHING" or that you would look better if you "lost about 10 pounds"?

First of all....who feels like they have the right to say those things...am I right? Second of all, I have heard all of this. You see, I have been "too thin" (when my medication was causing significant weight loss). I have been "just right"..."sexy", even (when I had gained some weight back after being depressed, but also was still outside of my normal range because of medication). I have been "fat" (when I was within my normal range, healthy, and off of medication).

I have experienced the range of cold remarks and I have felt hurt by them. I have felt objectified. I have felt shamed. I have felt insecure. I have felt pressured.

I overcame a battle with an eating disorder of over 10 years. I was so proud of myself for that. It is why I started this blog. I wanted to provide hope for others to have faith in themselves....to have hope and know they can overcome self-hatred and self-doubt. Peace and inner happiness are at your fingertips....at all of our fingertips.


However, I must admit....I have not been holding true to my beliefs. Recently, my body has been changing. I am in my late twenties. My body takes a little longer to see results. Which is totally fine. I accepted that....because frankly, it won't do me any good to beat myself up my body's natural hormonal changes. However....I am human. I have been looking at the countless photos of women in which the new sought after body is almost unattainable without implants/constant workouts/waist trainers/intense diets. Big butt and hips, teeny tiny waist, ample breasts, full lips, contoured face, shiny hair.....did I miss anything?

If you are human like I am, you may have noticed this new trend and you may have felt ever so "slightly" inadequate.

Now, this is where I need  to stop us in our tracks. This is where you need to listen (and believe me, I am taking my own advice!). Feeling inadequate? Feeling like we need to succumb to the pressure of looking "perfect" for fear of being ostracized?

This is where it stops.

You see....I decided that feeling like that just wasn't going to work for me.

 I have decided that feeling like I wasn't "enough" just wasn't going to work out for my life. 

I am enough.

....and you are, too. 

I dare you all to stop feeling like you aren't enough. I encourage you all to stop looking at photos of people you wish you could look like when your perfect YOU is looking at you every day in the mirror.

I refuse to accept a life in which I always feel inadequate. I absolutely refuse. I cannot accept that. I will not accept that. I will work every day to love myself and my imperfections.

I will work to help the women around me feel empowered and beautiful and capable and deserving of feeling and KNOWING that we.are.all.enough.

Life is only the blink of an eye. Years pass by so quickly....more quickly than we realize until we realize that a year, or 5, has passed.

Do you want your life to pass by while you hate yourself? Or do you want every moment to be cherished? Do you want to look back and wish that you had loved yourself enough to enjoy each day? Or will you be looking back and wishing you stopped trying to be perfect and learned how to simply "be"?

Do not accept a life in which you constantly allow yourself to feel like you are not enough.

Trust me...you are more than enough. 

Please, tell yourself right now, at this very moment: I am enough. I am worthy. I am deserving of happiness and love. I love myself. No matter what anyone says, I will continue to love myself because I am worthy of being loved.

Repeat it over and over until you believe it....eventually, you will.

Until you can believe it yourself, I will tell you...

You are enough. You are worthy. You are deserving of happiness and love. You are loved. No matter what anyone says, you can continue to love yourself because you are worthy of being loved.

Worthy or unworthy? You decide.

"Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go" -Mooji

Who do we allow to define if we are deemed worthy or unworthy?

I recently felt dejected by multiple thoughts. My past has had moments of darkness and I have risen above them, fighting and clawing and scratching my way to avoid sinking into the dark abyss of a  life that is not fulfilling.

I got out. It was a battle. It is sometimes a daily struggle...but I got out.

I went from having no idea what I wanted for my future to working my way up in my career. I went from being deeply involved in an eating disorder to developing a healthy mind, body, and spirit. I went from questioning God to praising Him and thanking Him for those trials to build me into a better person. I went from entering into relationships because I was lonely to loving myself enough to understand what love really means.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

Yet, do those around me who knew me in the darkness notice? Or will they forever see me as stuck in that dark moment? Will I forever be someone they are not proud of, someone who will never see their photo or achievements being shared? If I continue to be more and more successful, will they be proud? Or will they constantly have a half-hearted smile and roll their eyes when I walk away? Will I never be enough for those people who saw me in my darkness? The fact that I have come to accept is that I may never get that praise that I always so desperately wanted from the people I admired.

Yet, the comfort I have found in this is something so, so simple. The fact is....I will survive if they never see me for who I truly am. I will survive, and better yet, I will thrive. However, I will not do it to please them. I will not do it to fulfill a void of being unloved. I now strive for success because I love myself. I strive for success because I want a life that is full of happiness and light and inner peace and strength. By letting go of the desire to please people who will never be pleased, we allow others who love us as out true selves to enter into our world and we allow them to accept us unconditionally. We also allow for self-acceptance.

When we do not follow the path of others, we may have people look down on us. We may have people question us. The fact is this: everyone needs to life their life as they are able to. Everyone needs to be able to reach their moment of clarity at different times. Some people can reach their goals quickly, others may have to search until they find what they are looking for. No judgement is necessary for either group.

Those people that judge us? Perhaps their path was different than ours. Perhaps that's why they don't understand ours....and that is okay. When we accept that they may never accept us, we also must choose to accept them. We must choose to release the anger and the hurt that we felt and understand that they are only human, too. We felt sadness and they felt confusion for our choices. All of our feelings are different, but we all have feelings. Feeling are fleeting. We cannot let them control us. We cannot worry about who we are pleasing, or about trying to be "perfect". Why? This is our ego speaking. This is our ego saying, "Look at me! Look at how far I have come! Acknowledge me! Praise me! Love me!". What if we turned our ego off? What if we said, "I accept that you may never accept me. I accept myself. I love myself. I accept you and I love you. I will continue to thrive because I choose to because it makes me happy". Doesn't that sound so much more peaceful?

What matters is the inner peace with ourselves and the peace with others. Accept that those who love you will love you. Those who will not, will not. Accept these feelings for being as simple as they are. Life is complex. Feeling are complex....but we must not let them rule us.

"Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go" -Mooji