Choices....

Let's talk about choices.

This topic is fresh on my mind because I was recently talking to a trusted individual about how I sometimes want to flee the confines of my traditional, albeit happy, life and roam free as a starry-eyed wanderer. Get rid of all commitments and be completely free. 

This lovely person brought me back to reality and reminded me that though we must be able to accept our choices, whatever they may be....there are consequences for our choices. Now, consequences are not necessarily a punishment. They are the reality of what occurs from the choices we make. Her point in this was that if I chose the life of a nomad, I would certainly have excitement. I would meet new people, see many places, fly by the seat of my pants, and my life would never have a dull moment. Are you ready for the big "but"? Yes, I could have that exciting life, but, I would be giving up the stability I have craved since I was a young girl. I would be giving up the comfort of my bed that I worked so hard for, my first big purchase after moving out on my own. I would be giving up the option of watching the children I always dreamed of having grow up in their forever home. I would make many new friends, but the relationships would be fleeting and I would miss out on years of blood, sweat, and tears relationships with people who would do anything for me. I would miss out on sleepy-eyed morning kisses and that comfort that only comes from being with someone who knows you fully, completely, deeply--and still loves you. I would be giving up the knowledge that a warm hug is always waiting for me, from someone--all I would have to do is call. I would have to be understanding of the idea that, unfortunately, if I get sick--I might be alone. If I become deathly ill, I may not have any way of contacting my family and even if I could, they would probably not be able to get out there fast enough. 

Now, this is the part where I got really, really lucky.

I have figured out how to do both. I can live my dreams of traveling while still maintaining solid relationships. I am blessed to be with a man who is secure in our relationship and supports my dreams. He wants me to able to go on that mission trip I always dreamed of. He wants to travel to Europe with me. Then, I also have my stability. My loved ones to come home to and share the joys of the pictures and the stories and the foods and sights and smells. My friends who know that I have this adventurous side and understand my need to fulfill it, but are still there to support me and listen to all of my crazy stories when I return. I maintain relationships with people who matter because at the end, that's all we have, folks. The people who love us fulfill our lives. They bring us life. They make me understand why I don't want to be a wanderer. Now, wandering with them? That's a different story. Bring that on. Bring that on for life. 

I am well aware that there are many who may not agree and who want to travel--I welcome their opinions. I hope they embrace their thoughts and live the most beautiful life possible. I am challenging you to remember that we need to be at peace with our choices-whatever they may be. 

Are there difficulties in commitments? Always. There are days where things are mundane. Days where we all want to run away (especially when we are stressed over bills, jobs, significant others, kids, in-laws....life stuff). That's normal. We need to take time to do what makes us happy in those moments. Take a little quiet time. Breathe. Understand that this moment shall pass....

....and when it does, you won't be alone. You have someone there to hold you, support you, listen to you, and plan that crazy trip with you that you have always dreamed about. 

So make your choices, my friends. Accept them and embrace them but do so with the understanding of what will happen next. Choose wisely, and choose with love. 

(Image credit: Bertha Williams MUA Mikal Andreu)